Bojing was one of the longer lasting scammers. I had been on Tinder for a month when I came across a picture of an Asian man with quizzical eyes. There was just something about his picture that made me swipe right. We matched instantly. Now, this was a time when I still believed Tinder was a legit place to meet real men. Boy, how naïve I was.
He was a great conversationalist. He said all the right things and I was surprised how much he “got” me. I learned he was an architect (I met Chao—from a previous blog entry after Bojing, but while I was still talking to him) based in Manchester. He was in HK for a few days on business—he owned his own firm and was thinking about expanding into the Asian market. He loved Manchester United (the soccer team) and his favorite food was fish and chips. On Sundays, he went to church. I asked why he was on Tinder. His answer was, “the cruel hands of fate took my fiancé away.” Apparently she had died a couple of years earlier from cancer. But Bojing still believed in love and was seeking it on Tinder because one of his friends had found his wife on the app.
Bojing and I messaged almost every day around 5; I was coming home from work and he was going to work. He wasn’t much of a conversationalist after a few weeks. Our conversations were really just “Hi, how are you” and “how was your day”…simple questions that don’t reveal a lot. When I started asking more questions, I was informed that I asked too many. That was one of the first warning signs.
In September, Bojing told me he was mugged and some money was taken. He had to spend the night in the hospital since he did hurt his back in the attack. At the same time, a friend was talking to a man (that she also met on Tinder) and he asked her for money. I shared this story with Bojing. He got upset and accused me of calling him a beggar. I assured him that was not what I meant, that I was merely sharing a sad story. He seemed appeased by this. In hindsight, I’m sure he was going to ask me for money to help with his bills, but I will never be sure of this.
As time continued, I suggested we meet. I said I would come to the UK for a few days since I was having a holiday. He said he could help and I told him not to worry about it. After doing the math, I told him I really couldn’t afford the trip at the time since I still needed to buy my ticket to the US for the holidays. He knew my father was sick and that I wanted to spend as much time with him as I possible could. He asked how much I could afford and I mentioned putting it on a credit card but really didn’t want to do that. We decided that perhaps that wasn’t the time to meet. He said he could come to where I was.
Time went by, though, and he never said anything about visiting again.
In the beginning of November, I was scheduled to travel to Thailand on a field trip. Bojing kept mentioning travelling to see me then. I had to constantly tell him I wasn’t going to be in town then. Finally, he got the message. I went to Thailand, and then had to travel home since my father died. I messaged Bojing when I was back in HK waiting for my flight to the US. He said he was sorry and that was it. I would think someone who lost a loved one to cancer would have been a little more sympathetic, but silly me I suppose.
After two weeks in the US, I flew back home to work for a couple of weeks before our holiday break. I heard from Bojing. He was going to India for business and then he was coming to visit me. I personally didn’t care at this point what the man did or planned to do. He made it to India.
Allow me to share the reason why he had flown to India. You see, the company he owned was reasonable for a design of a building built in Mumbai. Unfortunately, it collapsed, killing people. Sound familiar? The company agreed to let Bojing offer a solution instead of paying the settlement fees for the victims’ lawsuits, but in the end didn’t like how he offered to fix the problem. He had to come up with 5000£. The country had seized his passport and wouldn’t even let him leave the country until the fees had been paid! Naturally, he asked me, a woman he had such deep feelings for.
Guess who came to my rescue? Or at least, came to my entertainment? That’s right. If you’ve read any of my other entries on my scammers, you have read about Mr. Hero. Well, don’t be disappointed.
Mr. Hero and I started a conversation with Bojing (again, Mr. Hero was playing the role of my financial advisor). We told Bojing that Mr. Hero was already scheduled to do business in Mumbai in a day or so and that he would be happy to drop the funds off in person. He asked which hotel he was staying in and Bojing came up with a name of a legitimate hotel. The next day, Mr. Hero messaged that he was in the lobby of this hotel and asked where Bojing was. Wouldn’t you know? Bojing decided to leave the group chat. Instead, he messaged me, very angry. I told him I was trying to help, and I was informed that he had already told me how to help but I didn’t listen.
I was tired of men scamming me at this point and sent off a critique of his scamming skills. It was really quite good, if you ask me. All I got in response was an ok.
About a month later, I received a message from Bojing apologizing. He really did have feelings for me and felt bad about what happened. I engaged in conversation with him a little. He informed me he was just a 21-year-old orphan, all alone in the world that needed help. And then the asshole asked me for money—anything that I could spare. I told him no.
Now, do not think that is all of Bojing. A few weeks ago on Tinder, as I was looking for my next scammer, I matched with a Bojing look-a-like. His name was Wang. I messaged him on Tinder and asked him if he preferred Wang or Bojing. He prefers Wang. I told him that we already knew each other, but he went by Bojing at the time. He asked me how I had been and then said I was mixing him up with someone else because he was currently on house arrest for a minor matter. A real winner. I do think, after talking more with Wang and with Bojing (I like to annoy him once in a while because, well, why not?), that these are two different men but share the same pictures.
So, if you see a man like this, and he goes by Bojing or Wang, just be warned that they are both architects and it’s likely their buildings will fall eventually.